Characters: (in order of tastiness)

Loaf, king of Bakery (King Duncan)
Muffin and Pastry (His sons, Malcom and Donalbain)
The three savoury rolls (The witches)
Roll and Cupcake (Generals of the King’s army, Macbeth and Banquo)
Bun, Cookie, Donut, Slice, Lamington and Mudcake (Random noble breads of Bakery)

[Many others, but who really cares, they’re all gonna get eaten anyway]

“Okay everyone, where will we meet again?”
“Well it’s not like we have a choice here, we’re stuck in this crumb-encrusted hellhole.”
“Then it’s settled, we shall meet upon the return of Roll.”
“That’s not what I said!”
“Quiet everyone!”
“No you be quiet! I’m sick of this! We’re not witches you fools, we’re god damn savoury rolls! I’m getting the hell out of here!”
Upon the uttering of those fateful words, the lone savoury roll/witch hopped right out of her display rack, only to roll over the counter and tumble to the filthy Bakery floor, to be decayed and eventually eaten by the billions of E. Coli and that other one that’s hard to spell. Staffygolerius or something. I don’t know.

“Okay, we’re back!” the strikingly handsome Roll called to the bakery inhabitants. Shortly after calling this, Bakery erupted into a dull tone that mildly resembled a group cheer. Roll was accompanied by his fellow General of King Loaf’s army, Cupcake.
“General Roll, please remind us of what you have come back from! For the reader of this story!” a random lamington called from the newly formed crowd of cakes, pastries and other delectable treats.
“The Thousand Breads War of course!” Roll’s companion Cupcake replied animatedly.
“What the hell is that?” a lemon slice called from the crowd.
“I’m not supposed to go into much detail, this is supposed to be a short story, the author said if I did it again, he’d eat me,” Roll said. He fearfully glanced into the heavens to see the frightening tip of a black ballpoint pen, watching him, taunting him. He gulped.
“Well Roll, we have good news for you!” a deep booming voice emerged from the very back of the crowd. Roll recognised it immediately.
It was King Loaf, the ruler and leader of Bakery. He slid elegantly across the smooth counter, leaving perfect crumbs in his wake. As always, he was surrounded by seven shady-looking security chocolate drops. They were mean and did not mess around when it came to defending their king.
King Load slid through the parting crowd and eventually came to a stop a few inches from Roll and gave him the good news.
“You are now the Thane of Oven! The old one was bought by some fat kid a few hours back, so his job now gets passed on to you! Aren’t you happy?” he said cheerfully.
“What’s a Thane? Roll asked dumbly, scratching his crumbly head.
All of a sudden, for no apparent reason two savoury rolls appeared right in front of the group’s eyes. They looked distressed.
“It’s all over people; we have word of Mr. T approaching Bakery at an alarming rate! He seems hungry!” the savoury rolls said in unison.
“Didn’t there use to be three of you old hags?” Roll asked.
“Eh, she fell off the shelf. The E. Coli ate her brains.”
“I didn’t know savoury rolls had brains...”
Suddenly, the doors of Bakery flew open and in came Mr. T in the flesh, Snickers gun and all.
“Okay fools; I need all the food stuff in here right now! I’m going on a bread safari!”
“We’re doomed!” screamed King Loaf as Mr. T ran over to the rack where the group was assembled and plucked the hysterical King Loaf, his seven chocolate guards helpless to stop the towering Mr. T. He gobbled King Loaf in three massive, Mr. T sized bites. Then he licked his chops and put down his Snickers gun, which fell to the tiled floor with a loud clatter, and then he began to scoop up the other pastries and bread by the dozen.
Within minutes, not a soul, or pastry, was left in the entire bakery.
The only consolation was, that in the aftermath of this disaster, Mr. T suffered a massive stroke due to the excessive amounts of bread he had eaten within such a small time. So although the small population of pastries, muffins and breads was decimated by a hungry advertiser, they got their revenge in the end.